Monday, 11 February 2019

Why do we settle?

Whether we want to admit this or not, at some point in your life you have settled. It might have been in the past or you may be settling right now. We settle in relationships , friendships , jobs or day to day life. We put our interest in quantity over quality, and in doing so deny ourselves real happiness. It may feel like we’re not doing anything too bad, but settling is damaging to both people in the relationship. It’s also unfair.
But there are so many reasons we do settle.

The fear of being alone
This is mostly why people will stay in relationships because they don't want to feel lonely, don't want to be without someone. If you truly worked on yourself and took the time to figure out what you wanted, then I bet you that you'll start to fall in love with your own company. For me that's my favourite thing to do- spend time on my own. It doesn't mean you're lonely or sad, it just means you accept yourself. In my experience I have felt much more alone when I have been in a relationship than when I have been out of one. Sometimes you can feel so trapped and like you can't do what you want, but you come out of a relationship and the world is yours babe! You can literally do what you want.

You think you don't deserve better
Now this is all down to knowing your self worth. This is key!!!! If you’re unhappy with your partner or your relationship, then you absolutely deserve better. It may not be your partner’s fault that you’re not happy, but that doesn’t mean you don’t deserve happiness. Don't let anyone treat you any less than you deserve.

It seems easier than to leave
I mean seriously... if you're that unhappy you need to know you can walk away. Yes of course it's going to be hard at first. It always is, but afterwards you won't regret it. Put your happiness first for once and know that it's your life and you're in control of it.

So just before the end of 2018 I started to see this guy (well I can't even call it that- I don't know what it was) Anyways so I had known him quite a while and we got in contact again and started speaking, and even from the start I questioned things. However I didn't exactly listen fully to my inner thoughts, I knew they were there and I did end up calling off our first date because I was like this just isn't for me. But I thought to myself ' Caitlin let's just go for it and let the universe guide you'.
So we saw each other a few times, went out a few times and I mean this was only going on for literally a few weeks but honestly in that short amount of time I felt so unhappy because I forgot what I wanted and needed from a guy. And he was far from that. No I'm not saying he is horrible, he is such a lovely person but I knew deep down it wasn't for me. But instead of walking away and leaving at the start I carried on seeing him you know because I was enjoying the attention and just enjoyed seeing someone. 
I can remember one night it just hit me, I literally broke down crying because this wasn't what I wanted and I knew deep down I needed to be on my own and focus on myself. When I look back on this now I do genuinely laugh about the situation but I also realised for a split moment I settled. I settled for less than I deserved- I wasn't getting treated how I should but I guess sometimes in the moment you don't realise that. I genuinely just settled to see someone because I wanted that attention but then I remember I don't need attention from a guy when I can give it to myself.
I might come across like I have my shit together and guys don't affect me but let's be real sometimes they have (only for a split second) but it's ok because if you can see that and realise that you deserve so much more, then it was truly worth it. I look at these situations now and I am so thankful I have met these people because each time I get closer to knowing what I want. 
So thank you and now I know I won't settle for any hun that can't give me the time of day, can't give me energy, love or commitment. CYA LATTERRR HUN.

What you want exists, so don't settle until you've got it.

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