Thursday, 28 June 2018

Letting go is not a weakness

Holding onto pain doesn't fix anything. Replaying the past over and over again doesn't change anything, and wishing things were different won't make it any better. We all have a past and sometimes it can be hard to forget it and let go but you have to realise when you can accept it and let go your life will become a much happier place. You have to let go of what is hurting you even if you can't imagine being without that person, you can't visualize your life without there presence. Making that decision to let go is a huge step forwards, many people see letting go as giving up, as giving into the pain and not even giving it another go. But in order to let go you need strength, you need a strong sense of who you are. Letting go does not show any form of weakness. In life we can experience a lot of pain whether it be in relationships, friendships, family, colleagues... you name it ! It can be from anything and anybody but what is important is to be able to control it and know when you need to take action know when the time has come and you just can't be surrounded by them anymore. Letting go of someone does take a lot of courage.

I watched one of Jay Shetty's videos and he told this story of a University Professor ...

One day a university professor, holding a bottle of water, asked his students how much they thought a bottle of water he was holding weighs.
“500 grams!” shouted one student.
Another from the back shouted “600 grams!”

The professor looked at them and said: “Until we weigh the bottle we wouldn’t know.” And then he said, “Imagine I hold this bottle for a few minutes. What do you think will happen?”
One of the students shouted: “Nothing!”
He said, “What if I hold it for a bit longer? Let’s say I hold this bottle for a few hours.”
They said, “Well, your arm will start to hurt.”
And he said, “What if I held this bottle for 24 hours?”
And one of the students said, “Your arm would be paralysed to an extreme }~The professor then said, “Notice that the weight of the bottle did not change during that time at all. The only thing that changed was how long you were holding it.”

I absolutely love this because his lesson was that we can wait and wait but the longer we do wait the more pain we will feel , the more it is going to hurt. The bottle represents the challenges we face everyday, our worries and our problems and that the longer we hold them them more pain it will cause.

Forgiveness doesn't  mean you accept it and accept their behavior but it stops your behavior from being effected. When you hold onto that pain and keep it all wrapped up it effects you as a person, don't feel weak for thinking you can't deal with it anymore. You have to think about what makes you happy. In order to move on and let go we have to forgive otherwise we are still holding on to it. I have always said ' I can forgive but I can't forget.' I believe in order to live a happy life forgiveness is important because you don't want to be holding a grudge against someone as it will make you extremely miserable however it's ok to not to forget. It's ok to remember that they hurt you before and you won't let it happen again. You just have to take control. We need to learn to accept apologies that we never receive.

You need to focus on what you desire. Ask yourself " What do I deserve". Can the one that is causing you the most pain fulfill your dreams? We can get frustrated over our actions.. WE ALL DO IT! Visualize where you want to be and don't stop until you get it.

Letting go doesn't make you weak , it makes you stronger.

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