Thursday, 1 March 2018

What I've learnt about love and friendships

You will definitely have different friends for all sorts of reasons, friends that fit certain categories. I don’t just have one group of friends but friends I’ve met through all different sorts of things. Like my blogging friends, online friends, Arbonne friends , college friends. Within your friendships you will realise that some friends are great for making you laugh , some give amazing advice and then some friends who are definitely the one’s you go shopping with. 
 'Let go of the people and things that don’t serve a purpose in your life.'

Why don't relationships last forever?
I can definitely say I've had my share of friendships, and no they don't last forever. And that's okay! I mean I don't forget the friendships I had because they were part of my life and I created some amazing memories. Just because we aren't friends any more doesn't mean you can't relive them days. People change, move away and grow up which sometimes means relationships don't last all the time. They don't just end though, they end for a reason. Why though? Sometimes the bond just isn't strong enough, there is no support there. Other relationships take priority- not everyone can balance a relationship and friendships, and the problem is that if you have a relationship problem or family sometimes you tend to forget about the friends that are there for you. Commitment is another big part of a relationship, I found that when I moved away and went to stage school you just stop speaking to old friends, I knew that would happen because it's life and people become busy with other things.To be in any kind of relationship you need to be flexible and make time to spend with one another, it works both ways remember you can’t just have one person trying and not the other. Poor communication can really affect relationships, also misunderstandings of texts ( this has definitely happened to me) a text can't portray how you really feel it's only words on a phone which is why if you need a serious conversation with someone you are better to do it face to face.

Letting Go
There comes a point in everyone's life when you have to say goodbye to someone and just let them go. Sometimes we tend to hold onto relationships because it's what we are comfortable with and used to. You need to be able to realise who is good in your life, if they bring you negatively cut them out. I know it's easy to say but it does take strength to do this, you need to start taking charge of your life. Stay away from people who make you feel like you are hard to love. I see this so much of people getting put down by comments on the internet stating that they aren't good enough, either their appearance or status. This also happens in toxic relationships it can be between friends just making each other feel unwanted. Let go of the people and things that don’t serve a purpose in your life. For me I haven't always found it easy to let go but time is a healer. "It's not really letting go of the past that is the problem. It is coming to terms with letting go of the possible future that will never be. That is the struggle. The mind wants to keep it's fantasies. Even when they are wrong, unhealthy, dangerous or even cruel. To let go of the past you must let go of the future and live in the present." Walk away from the one's that don't serve any loyalty or there is no trust, ask yourself are they really needed in your life? Trust and loyalty are the foundation of any friendship and relationship.

Friends don't judge
True friends don’t judge you by your mistakes. They will help you grow from them.
They will be behind you every step of the way supporting you through everything. We all make mistakes in life and we have our down times , so  you should be able to work out from this who your friends are. It is easy for girls to find a million reasons to pick on each other, so let's stand together as a collective and stop all the bitching. Just remember this... When someone judges you, it isn't actually about you. It's about them and their own insecurities, limitations and needs. I want to be surrounded by people that don't gossip behind my back, that will be honest to my face. Don't let them try and fix you , if they are your friends they will see the beauty in you and shouldn't try to change anything.

 I don’t need a man to make me happy
The smartest thing a women can ever learn, is to never need a man. I know we all want to settle down and start a family blah blah.. but if your not with the right person it will never work. After having my heart broken it made me realise I don't need a man at all. Yes I will admit it was hard at first to come to terms with the fact I was no longer in a relationship. What a lot of people tend to do after a break up is move on straight away, keep your mind away from the problem or focus on someone else. You see people breaking up then moving on within two weeks ( no this is not me judging anyone.) You do what you want to do, everyone copes in different ways, some might get over the breakup quicker than others, and THAT'S OK. For me I knew straight away I needed to gain back my independence because being in my first ( REAL) relationship I lost who I was, I changed as a person. Love makes you do stupid things and  I just didn't like what I had become. I am glad I realised this after my first breakup because I didn't jump at the chance to go out with another man I just wanted to work on myself. The best thing you can ever realise in life is that you no longer need someone. There is no reason to be scared being alone, or embarrassed- just embrace it! This doesn't make me a man hater it's just me being a strong independent women because I have worked on myself and I have worked hard to  get to this point in my life. All you need is you, if you are reading this and you do have a broken heart-  no one can fix it , only you. Instead of looking for the next person to cover up all your insecurities, look inside yourself. Focus on what you want out of life, spend more time with family and friends, travel the world. LIVE YOUR LIFE. 

Treat others how you want to be treated

If they respect you, respect them. If they disrespect you , still respect them. Do not allow actions of others to decrease your good manners. Ironically, people tend to change their attitude towards you when you begin treating them the way they treat you. I don't believe in holding grudges it won't bring anything good into your life and I think we should all just be kind to each other. Focus less on punishing those who cross you or others and choose to guide them into a better frame of mind. Teach them not only the error of their ways, but the error in their thinking. This is not a lesson in condescension, or even conversion, but a way to understand the progression from thought to action.

I could write about so many things that I've learnt from friendships and love but then we would be here all day. For me, if you can see a positive at the end of every situation good or bad then it was definitely worth it. I believe everything happens for a reason, you can't make someone love you, and you can't make someone be loyal. It is what it is at the end of the day and life is hard! It's not what you have in life but who you have in life that matters so that's why it's so important you surround yourself with the best type of people.

Kindness is really underrated. 
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